Ivan Presents...

Where do I start. . .

I was out hangin yesterday, started simply. I went over to my brothers' place. Yeah..they do have their own place. I figured I'd say hi to some pals in the general massif (area) and go home and do somethin geeky like rip DVD's or sumthin. Then I was invited to tug along...Me. . .hang out with all these learned people. . .peeps I used to look up to? Couldn't pass up the opportunity could I? Forget that..We are talking about free drinks on a boring Saturday evening. Why say no?

So we went to some place called Catch the sun...Oh,snap,It was a little more clever than that,it was Katch The Sun. By day its a day care center and by night time. . .It transforms into this kinda quiet place that people come and drink from.

Whilst I was there, I saw this girl I went to school with. She is ,like, what. . .2-3 years my junior and she was with this guy that could have easily been her father. Come to think of it,I could be reading it all wrong. . .This might have been her father.He had his arms wrapped around her like..like fathers do.and when she got up to place an order, the look he gave her as she swayed around in her short and incredibly pink skirt was a look of , "my how she has grown. . ." and then the glint in his eye...

I later hooked up with my cousins. And we went to Al Zawadi. Well,one of 'em calls it Al ZiZi's and I hope it catches on soon.It sounds like the kind of thing I would call my bar. So while we were chillin' these chics come and sit at our table. . .no one is willing to own up that they invited them over,so . . .so we will stick with the THEY JUST HAPPENED TO COME OVER version of the story. After some small talk we did a couple of Vodka shots and it was then that we registered their accents, almost flawless "Outside Country" speak. In fact they would have pulled it off if they hadn't gone and used the word "box" in a statement explaining the fate that would befall the guys hitting on them when they got high...Who says "box" anymore?
I'll smack you silly is just as tawdry...Anywho,one of them found me eating and (I can't recall how we came to this) volunteered her age..."I'm 16..."
So I'm thinkin...WHAT THE ****, who let you out of your house,forget house,your room...your bed...

Later, we had to take some other girls home and...well we were all upset, at the very least the fact that we had to carry them may have had sumthin to do with it... ITS NOT HOT YOU PERVE! Its actually uncomfortable when they are splayed out like that..and you are carrying two of them..and they are 17years old..One of them noticed my discomfort and was all apologetic and stuff and had just started stroking my cheek while saying sorry when I threw up...Sorry, that was wrong, I didn't throw up, I had to get your mind back on track...SO anyway.We were all a little upset and so one of my cousins offered me a sip of his vodka...Then one of the asphyxiating devices I was carrying reached for it and "Downed" it like it was water...then she offered me some, so I figured I'd kill the whole thing by going like, "OH right,coz that'a like kissin,huh. . ." I figured that's what grosses out kids these days, you know, some adult saying such retarded stuff. . .I was wrong. She looked at me and went like, "No. Kissin is if our lips meet. . ." and then she looks at me like that Father figure in the 3rd or 4th paragraph up that side

So, we drop em off and she goes like,we really are grateful..and if you want me to show it,gimme your number...So I snort in obvious disgust, (no,really,this was every shade of wrong) and she goes like..."What, I'm not that young...I'm old enough. . ."

I’d posted something tending towards deep. For real, and now its been taken away from me. I was on a roll, is all I’m sayin .I had pulled off some subliminal advertising wherein I just let a link hide in my text with the intention of whipping it out a little later.

I remember there was something about Rock Music. I think I was going on and on about how its gotten all stereotypical lately and the general consensus is that anything done by a white that sounds good is Rock Music. To that end, Justin Timberlake doesn’t do Rock…Eminem does, I’m sure you’ll agree…

I mentioned something to the effect that I was happy that Country-boyi had gotten Skechers…shoes that I myself intend to get soon. I think I mentioned that I was just energized…I will also look into the K-Swiss issue comrade!

The title of the post was Whatchu Sayin to tie in with the link I was promoting.

Back to the rock stuff…I was concerned because, as I go for rock tonight I will be engaged in a conversation with Dee and someone will exclaim that Kelly Clarkson is not really a Rocker…

This person may well be wearing a suit and not feeling the music…heck, might as well be a lawyer…
…to be fair, not all suit wearing peeps fail to appreciate Rock…the dude I’ve linked you to does suits and Rock...does one of them better than the other I must add…

So, the question; Is Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You” a rock song? Think about this carefully… its an incredibly deep song and pulls at your heart strings, makes itself a swing and gleefully plays in there…The one ROCK-ish thing about it is the fact that you can grimace at the stain on your shirt that’s cost you a set of digits (read: telephone number) and then at some suit wearing dude and mouth, “Because of you” before proceeding with your version of getting postal on him.

Is Howie Day’s “Collide” a rock song? It’s just too deep…what is not deep, but also falls in the “is it really Rock” category is Ashlee Simpson’s “L.O.V.E” its just…well, you know, not rock

I realize Black people do Rock, like say Lenny Kravitz and Eminem, but just so you know, Iryn doesn’t…

That said…you lot really should be headin’ over to THIS PAGE!

I had knda hoped that some suit from Nike would have hollad by now. They didn't! As such I am switching my allegiance to Skechers...Oh man... things look so freakin SWEET...



@JKB. . .
*Deleted Scene from previous entry*

"Are the spirits of which you speak the distilled kind?"
-Distil...Wait, that's like blasphemy...I'd smite you if I wasn't too high, *hic*

What power problem is this country facing?I've had electricity for,what,two days back to back!
Y'all think we are not developing? Think again. We have electricity,baby!
Shocked?
You bet your fine little ****,I'm shocked...and yet,why should I be.I come from a nation where schools are sold to the highest bidder,and then crushed so Hotels can be built and ladies of the night can get spots to show off their wares...
"Me I am waiting for CHOGM so I can move to my new office"

This is the stuff of dreams...Dreams I had back in high school...there I was in class thinkin, "Man,if only this classroom collapsed and a hotel block sprung forth" ...you're all familiar with that daydream,aren't ya? Inktus? Dee? Anybody?

The taxi fare also went up,but that's neither here,nor there...What's here is the dawn of a new era. One in which peace talks can be held over "wine and muscle".

"So, are you going to quit this bush stuff?"
-What?..Oh man,this is the stuff right here..what was your question?
"will you quit slayin"
-What am i sellin?
"Slayin!!"
-hehe,I'm just playin with you,I got you back there,didn't I,eh?
"hehe,you did..you did...so seriously..."
-Nope *BURP*

Listen, I appreciate the fact that people think I am not into TV...well,I wasn't and I made it known. But for the love of God..I don't want to watch some overhyped show...like Prison Break or 24...It used to be 24, but somewhere along the line Prison Break broke into the whole thing and now everybody is recommending the thing...Thanks,but no thanks.

I am watching HOUSE...which in my opinion is a nice thing. . .Its like a decent version of E.R.

I have gotten into it so much,I have a guide for the few that may not know what to expect...

1)Switch on the DVD player

2)Hit Play.

3)Opening sequence with someone falling sick, if the director(s) feel like it, they will kinda zoom in and show us (in all its GORY) what exactly is happening.

4)Someone freaks out and the opening credits come on. (at this point it would be advisable to call up a friend and tell them what you're watching and just how gory it is.)

5)Shot of the hospital

6)Shot of House...

7) House is told about the problem,he is reluctant at first,but then he takes on the case and makes a quick assessment...House is wrong

8)Sorry,House is never wrong...

9)House gets his team on the case while he deals with some other nagging patient

10)House tells the team They are wrong...

11)Take note of the time, if its no where near thirty minutes in, the cure is far off

12) House is sour,but he is also witty,so we will let that go...JACK BAUER IS NOT WITTY

13)The team brainstorm and House walks in

14)Close to thirty minutes? Good, the cure is around the corner...

15)The cure is here,and so are the closing credits

Now,the thing about 24 is this...something that can best be summed up thus, STOP THE TERRORISTS...is stretched out for ages...

There's a song from way back when (which means we will probably hear it during Rock Night) that has the singer wonder out loud, "what if God was one of us?"

I kinda feel uneasy with that direction...come to think of it, there's probably some religious sect that wasn't too pleased.

So,to avoid stepping on toes, I'll ask..What if Spidey wore shoes?

Yeah, I realise this may imply that I have some sort of fascination with the whole Spidey saga, but if you look real close you will notice that;


If there's no image above this, I have been conned!

a)I'm trying to get you to buy me these shoes
b)I'm doing this to step on Darlyne's toes....

Seriously,footlocker has a promotion of sorts..I want these...I also want an Ipod...

Incidentally blogger won't let me upload pix...so I'm going to try and beat the sytem,if this doesn't work...I tried.

I apologise for being such a lousy blogger. I guess unmployment has impacted me worse than I care to admit...well, I think its unemployment. After all, most of the frequent bloggers are employed in some capacity or the other.

I just started watching House (or for those nitpickers among all y'all House_M.D).It's actually quite nice. Yeah its got some gory stuff in there,but after watching Nip Tuck (....Nip/Tuck) you ought to be able to stomach just about anything that TV dishes out...well,not anything as such. I have failed to watch Straka. . .and Mosh. . .and that chic on Jam Agenda. . .which is really sad, I'd gotten over the Kazoora complex I'd developed ages ago then WHAM! There's a new addition to the program. . .that just won't stay put. This chic dances to silence! How the heck...forget how, WHY...is there some rule in the broadcasting world that states that at any one point you should be animated.That you should be moving in some way. . .really?. . . My bad, I guess that chic over at UBC didn't get the memo. HER LOSS.

I just realised that the toothpaste I use is branded New Spicy flavor..then somewhere along the line, there's talk of it being hot! I know what you're thinking. How did I fail to see this when I was picking it out of the 500 brands available.

(yes, 500. Each is a variation of some other, such that Close Up has some 30 sumthin cousins, ie Closer,Close Dent,Closer Den,Clo Den, Up Close,Close Yap, Club Pilsner...)

Let's take this one step at a time, I think the real issue here is the marketing guru that came up with this stuff. Did he actually consider,even for a minute what he was saying?

"Oh yeah,we are like so going to get them, we will introduce a spicy taste in the morning....its going to be hot! and when they least expect it, we will slip in some garlic. Someone stop me, I'm on FIRE!"

I downloaded the teaser thingy for the new Spiderman movie and I gotta tell ya...this thing is off the hook...or,erm,off the web. It looks incredible and I have gotten really amped about this thing...so amped I have my own theories from just watching the Teaser....join me... First of all, I think this one is going to be called Spiderman and his enemies. nuh, I'm kiddin. I actually think the producers would have gone with The Evil Within or WEB OF DECEIT if the Nigerian filmmakers hadn't beaten them to it...only that the Nigerians skillfully masked the title and made it read Roses In The Rain,but we know better,don't we? There is also a villain that looks like Imhotep from The Mummy when he "gets his sand on" and I think his back story involves him being a hydrophobe or sumthin. I guess the producers are trying to go all moralistic on us and trying to encourage the young'uns in the audience to bathe..dunno about you,but I think I'd skip showering for a chance to be that cool!
There seems to be a scene that may not have made it to The Lord Of The Rings movie but is cleverly put to use here...
Hang on,seems blogger won't let me upload the pix...which totally messes me up...How am I supposed to show you these awesome pix?
oh heck..you shoulda seen it...