Ivan Presents...

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Sometimes They Grow

Where do I start. . .

I was out hangin yesterday, started simply. I went over to my brothers' place. Yeah..they do have their own place. I figured I'd say hi to some pals in the general massif (area) and go home and do somethin geeky like rip DVD's or sumthin. Then I was invited to tug along...Me. . .hang out with all these learned people. . .peeps I used to look up to? Couldn't pass up the opportunity could I? Forget that..We are talking about free drinks on a boring Saturday evening. Why say no?

So we went to some place called Catch the sun...Oh,snap,It was a little more clever than that,it was Katch The Sun. By day its a day care center and by night time. . .It transforms into this kinda quiet place that people come and drink from.

Whilst I was there, I saw this girl I went to school with. She is ,like, what. . .2-3 years my junior and she was with this guy that could have easily been her father. Come to think of it,I could be reading it all wrong. . .This might have been her father.He had his arms wrapped around her like..like fathers do.and when she got up to place an order, the look he gave her as she swayed around in her short and incredibly pink skirt was a look of , "my how she has grown. . ." and then the glint in his eye...

I later hooked up with my cousins. And we went to Al Zawadi. Well,one of 'em calls it Al ZiZi's and I hope it catches on soon.It sounds like the kind of thing I would call my bar. So while we were chillin' these chics come and sit at our table. . .no one is willing to own up that they invited them over,so . . .so we will stick with the THEY JUST HAPPENED TO COME OVER version of the story. After some small talk we did a couple of Vodka shots and it was then that we registered their accents, almost flawless "Outside Country" speak. In fact they would have pulled it off if they hadn't gone and used the word "box" in a statement explaining the fate that would befall the guys hitting on them when they got high...Who says "box" anymore?
I'll smack you silly is just as tawdry...Anywho,one of them found me eating and (I can't recall how we came to this) volunteered her age..."I'm 16..."
So I'm thinkin...WHAT THE ****, who let you out of your house,forget house,your room...your bed...

Later, we had to take some other girls home and...well we were all upset, at the very least the fact that we had to carry them may have had sumthin to do with it... ITS NOT HOT YOU PERVE! Its actually uncomfortable when they are splayed out like that..and you are carrying two of them..and they are 17years old..One of them noticed my discomfort and was all apologetic and stuff and had just started stroking my cheek while saying sorry when I threw up...Sorry, that was wrong, I didn't throw up, I had to get your mind back on track...SO anyway.We were all a little upset and so one of my cousins offered me a sip of his vodka...Then one of the asphyxiating devices I was carrying reached for it and "Downed" it like it was water...then she offered me some, so I figured I'd kill the whole thing by going like, "OH right,coz that'a like kissin,huh. . ." I figured that's what grosses out kids these days, you know, some adult saying such retarded stuff. . .I was wrong. She looked at me and went like, "No. Kissin is if our lips meet. . ." and then she looks at me like that Father figure in the 3rd or 4th paragraph up that side

So, we drop em off and she goes like,we really are grateful..and if you want me to show it,gimme your number...So I snort in obvious disgust, (no,really,this was every shade of wrong) and she goes like..."What, I'm not that young...I'm old enough. . ."

. . .Sometimes they do grow
Brought forth by The 0ne at 7/30/2006 01:07:00 PM

7 Comments:

I am speechless and dude yu should have some kind of underage radar by now, I was there and they really looked young, and seriously box?!?! Who say 'box'? Watch yourself, I will box you!

9:04 AM  

Last time i heard one of your clubbing stories, I had the exact same thought: you live in another world entirely!

3:35 PM  

ah, al zawizo's! the drama yet unfolds

10:02 AM  

So you were Katching the Sun in my hood. I know one person who refers to Al-Zawadi as Al-ziz, maybe I know your cuz.

3:57 PM  

hahahahahaha! i think i like this morality tale.

6:25 PM  

i dont go to Al Za-watever coz my 18 yr old baby sis & her just as young friends go there.

dude, seriously you ... the only one offering you some is an inebriated 16! ... something's wrong with that picture.

i could hook u up with my friend Zein, he's real sweet and funny and ... y'all will bond, what'd u say?

8:58 PM  

This is a comically assembled experience!

5:37 PM  

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