Ivan Presents...

Hi,
if you've been in Uganda for a reasonable amount of time you know that we are not really...well, we have Power issues. Not over in state house.State House is nice. Its so cool even the Queen of England wants to stay there. Yo true story!...Anyway, back to our power issues. Very sick stuff. The elec goes off unexpectedly, well to be fair,sometimes it is expected, but for the most part its shock and awe.
One minute its on, the next *POOF*...Like that,its gone.
However for the past 4/5 days I have had electricity.Its unnerving.
I have resorted to jotting my feelings in a diary...Next!

Since the dawn of existence, there have always been moments when the course of history shifted. Such a turning point is upon us now. The conflict between the better and worst angels of our very nature. Whose outcome will change our world so greatly...there will be no going back. I do not know if victory is possible. I only know that great sacrifice will be required. And because the fate of many will depend on a few, we must make the last stand.


The Powers That Be ( I really have no idea who they were in this case) decided that we as a nation should not watch Brokeback Mountain. I can't recall what the argument was. I think they may have been afraid that some Ugandans,too impressionable, would watch the movie and then turn gay...or (God Forbid)...become GAY COWBOYS.
Understandably that would be a very bad thing. The last thing we need in our country are cowboys. We have enough problems as it is with the Karamajong and their rustling.
***And in the news today, we are pleased to report that the cattle rustling problem is the same.It is unchanged,I repeat.UNCHANGED.Incase you were afraid of travelling before,you can rest easy because our government has prevented a national calamity...COWBOYS coming into existence...In other news, a whale saved a cow when...***

Its worth noting that we are also not keen on watching the Vagina Monologues....Sure,its okay for Champion King Masterpiece to stage a series of shows in a language no one has understood...or will bother to,but we can not be enlightened by the monologues. For crying out loud...its just a monlogue.Where is the harm in that? Its one sided...

While they are at it,they let V for Vendetta slip under the radar...I am not sying its altogether a surprising thing.I mean...Vendetta,man! how is that going to arouse any sentiments in the masses? Brokeback will,but a movie with V (the symbol one of the politicians back here uses) and the word Vendetta is just fine...I think the government is not giving us enough credit. We are really not that dumb...Seriously,we didn't buy the water level excuse to justify loadshedding. Someone's taking the piss...and we are not happy...Ofcourse you can't see that.Its too blody dark to show it.

The Da Vinci Code is here.No one has said anything.Heck I wouldn't mind a prophecy right about now...
****There will be 6 movies released. One will not be shown and that will leave 4.Of the 3 that remain 1 will be about church and the other will have spice...what?who...oh...sorry.I meant Spies,but not like the ones being tried for treason.No,these ones have money. A LOT OF MONEY. If you want that kind of money come here and touch this reel and it shall be yours...***

Soon we are going to have the X-Men movie.Am I excited? Quite,but I made the fatal mistake of going here.So I'm going in just so the people at the cinema don't think I only do 12 in one DVD's that we get from Malaysia...a country that is more gifted by nature than ours if the adverts running on CNN are to be believed...

I am at a very bad place right now.The realisation that I am about to end my campus tenure (somewhat) and join the hustlers..ha! That's rich...What I meant to say is,join the people who have rushed through a half-baked University education to realise that there is infact a great big world out there and it's baying for blood.

I've oft said this and I'll reiterate...I think the way forward is pursuing a career as a local artist.(read; a musician born and bred here). Its got loads of perks,like...uhm getting in to the Street Jam without paying a dime.

I think I will spruce it up a bit. I will pioneer the collaboration as it was originally meant to be..like the Touch It Remix. I intend to go all out and engage all the artistes worth performing i this project. And once I've got both of them,we will unleash upon the masses a video to rival the video that everyone is talking about at the moment. (is it that obvious that I'm not really following trends?)

And incase you are wondering, yes,I have infact got a name picked out....
Voracious Reptile!

Disclaimer: In the unlikely event that my Spellings are a bit dodgy,its not due to some attempt to be "one-with the artistes of the world", but rather a keyboard malfunction...

First off I'd like to state the obvious. I was not banned from the blogsphere. The government of this great country loves my work.Its the power company that has a problem with me, but that's not really a big deal because we have since learnt that very few humans do infact run things at the dam.

I have also been studying for my examinations.I'd like to say they are my final exams, but that would be a blatant lie. If you have been to Makerere, you know that they do all they can to keep us there. They grow attcahed easily...the administration,not the ladies. This time round,I have been deemed worthy of continued tenure at the hill. I am almost tempted to attempt wit and say I am doing my Masters or I am Studying:Reloaded. I can't bring myself to do that, because (on top of it being pretty weak humour...the kind Amarula Family might actually think is brilliant and write into their *cough cough* performances for years to come) Retakes are a bitch. There, I said it. I am stuck with a bloody retake because someone may or may not have handed in a coursework and the arrangement at Makerere is such that you have to do a retake if

• You fail miserably
• You have missing coursework results
• You attempt to have a life
• You make it clear that the only reason you are in class is the fact that your home is too far away when you leave the bar.

I have also been kept away from the net because of Computer Problems that have had me meet all sorts of experts that go through what contribution they have made that my PC may live to Die Another Day.
Standard conversations are in the vein of, "I opened your computer, looked at what lay before me and pulled out the thing that was probably messing it up and then i shut it. I then switched it on and proceeded to install some software that was corrupted and after doing that, i poured myself a glass of juice because I seemed to pick up something..i think your computer had a virus..."

At this point I am staring aghast at the apparent lack of humor that some of these techies have.

In other news I have also been to Steak Out on Thursday where I arrived at the conclusion that Rock Rocks...

PAY UP!