Ivan Presents...
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Got It...Is this Plagiarism...
I went for this rally with as much zeal as I could muster on such a hot Sunday afternoon.
See, the thing is, usually, when people tell you to go for “The Sprint”, they make it sound so exciting. Like it’s an event that could only be eclipsed in awesomeness by the abrupt declaration by Joseph Kony that war isn’t really his thing and he’s opted to become a missionary.
What they don’t tell you is that there’s a chance that you might actually derive from it levels of excitement as high as those a child sitting in on a discussion about the downward spiral of the Cuban economy. It started simply enough — long journey to Garuga with the adrenaline levels moving at a speed surpassed only by snails racing through mud on a hot day. The guys I was travelling with were great company though. Made the journey worth it, actually.
You have to understand that I am not a sports scribe, so the last thing on my mind was whether Emma Kato’s new vehicle could actually round a bend without losing any fuel in its tank. I was out there for the thrill of… actually in retrospect, I can’t say I had a clearly laid out plan. That probably means I shouldn’t belly-ache about the presence of Uganda’s own Amarula Family (sorry Uganda, such stuff shouldn’t keep happening to you). There was some spiel about someone willing to reward with sh5,000, anyone that found his sh20,000. It was actually quite funny. Seriously, it’s been funny since its inception in the ‘80s.
Moving on, there were a couple of food stands. The most impressive thing here were the chips. They actually looked palatable. Ordinarily, such places inspire the notion that fries found there will have been carved from a tough-as-nails spud that will defend this reputation from inside your stomach and emerge victorious elsewhere.
Speaking of which, there were actually some loos. It’s not that I went looking for them as such, but when people emerge from bushes zipping up their pants and smoothing out their skirts, one can’t help but figure where you are supposed to go when you need to go about your business.
At this point you’re probably wondering whether I am actually going to subject you to a long-winded piece with no mention of skimpily clad vixens that were out to show off as much flesh as they could whilst acting surprised that guys ACTUALLY DO find this appealing.
Well, sadly yes, there were none of those, and if they were there then they did a pretty good job hiding.
There were, however, a number of Fashion police cases and a chick with hips huge enough to disqualify her from some competition involving faces.
And there was the lake a short distance away, with people swimming and a kid that figured swimming in the nude was actually the way it was meant to be done. Speaking of lakes, I half expected to see some guy emerge with a sack of cash flung over his shoulder and disappearing in the crowd. I might have gotten there late.
Then there were the cars. It’s been a week since the event, I honestly doubt there’s anything that I could say that hasn’t been said yet. Well, they were fast, and they looked like cars that were being used to wreak havoc. You know what? This isn’t really moving in the direction you would want it to.
Not very unlike the performance of the make-shift band that was set up to actually draw our attention away from the naked swimmer or the people oblivious to the importance of keeping the environment clean.
Right, back to the band.
Initially it was churning out some good stuff, no lie! The songs actually drew a crowd of people who were either drunk from the cheap brew that was lurking in the depths of gourds and calabashes or heading towards drunken stupor. Then suddenly without warning, they started doing adverts for Jomayi something or other, the guys who made the rally possible, or the music that was keeping people away from the rally and the fast cars wreaking havoc. Looking past that, it was pretty cool as far as rallies go.
Granted I figured they should start being picky about who should attend these things (the way that bouncer at Silk pulls it off).
By the end of the feat everyone had accumulated enough dust to start a low-scale farm — on their bodies!
See, the thing is, usually, when people tell you to go for “The Sprint”, they make it sound so exciting. Like it’s an event that could only be eclipsed in awesomeness by the abrupt declaration by Joseph Kony that war isn’t really his thing and he’s opted to become a missionary.
What they don’t tell you is that there’s a chance that you might actually derive from it levels of excitement as high as those a child sitting in on a discussion about the downward spiral of the Cuban economy. It started simply enough — long journey to Garuga with the adrenaline levels moving at a speed surpassed only by snails racing through mud on a hot day. The guys I was travelling with were great company though. Made the journey worth it, actually.
You have to understand that I am not a sports scribe, so the last thing on my mind was whether Emma Kato’s new vehicle could actually round a bend without losing any fuel in its tank. I was out there for the thrill of… actually in retrospect, I can’t say I had a clearly laid out plan. That probably means I shouldn’t belly-ache about the presence of Uganda’s own Amarula Family (sorry Uganda, such stuff shouldn’t keep happening to you). There was some spiel about someone willing to reward with sh5,000, anyone that found his sh20,000. It was actually quite funny. Seriously, it’s been funny since its inception in the ‘80s.
Moving on, there were a couple of food stands. The most impressive thing here were the chips. They actually looked palatable. Ordinarily, such places inspire the notion that fries found there will have been carved from a tough-as-nails spud that will defend this reputation from inside your stomach and emerge victorious elsewhere.
Speaking of which, there were actually some loos. It’s not that I went looking for them as such, but when people emerge from bushes zipping up their pants and smoothing out their skirts, one can’t help but figure where you are supposed to go when you need to go about your business.
At this point you’re probably wondering whether I am actually going to subject you to a long-winded piece with no mention of skimpily clad vixens that were out to show off as much flesh as they could whilst acting surprised that guys ACTUALLY DO find this appealing.
Well, sadly yes, there were none of those, and if they were there then they did a pretty good job hiding.
There were, however, a number of Fashion police cases and a chick with hips huge enough to disqualify her from some competition involving faces.
And there was the lake a short distance away, with people swimming and a kid that figured swimming in the nude was actually the way it was meant to be done. Speaking of lakes, I half expected to see some guy emerge with a sack of cash flung over his shoulder and disappearing in the crowd. I might have gotten there late.
Then there were the cars. It’s been a week since the event, I honestly doubt there’s anything that I could say that hasn’t been said yet. Well, they were fast, and they looked like cars that were being used to wreak havoc. You know what? This isn’t really moving in the direction you would want it to.
Not very unlike the performance of the make-shift band that was set up to actually draw our attention away from the naked swimmer or the people oblivious to the importance of keeping the environment clean.
Right, back to the band.
Initially it was churning out some good stuff, no lie! The songs actually drew a crowd of people who were either drunk from the cheap brew that was lurking in the depths of gourds and calabashes or heading towards drunken stupor. Then suddenly without warning, they started doing adverts for Jomayi something or other, the guys who made the rally possible, or the music that was keeping people away from the rally and the fast cars wreaking havoc. Looking past that, it was pretty cool as far as rallies go.
Granted I figured they should start being picky about who should attend these things (the way that bouncer at Silk pulls it off).
By the end of the feat everyone had accumulated enough dust to start a low-scale farm — on their bodies!
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Can We Please Have A Moment Of Silence
I hate silence,really I do.Its not like I have some incredibly "deep" reason behind it,like It awakens all sorts of emotions within...like fear or something. I just can't stand it...I'm sitting here,right?bored as heck coz I have some design work to pull off and I can't come up with anything.Its the silence...it sucks a**e!!
My cousin isn't helping much either.I think he knows how much this sucks.Just sitting there,playing around with his laptop!!Ugh!
I haven't done anything significant lately,well,not counting taking Carlo's diss in my stride.I reckon I'll stop here and see if I can lift my article off the newspaper's website...
My cousin isn't helping much either.I think he knows how much this sucks.Just sitting there,playing around with his laptop!!Ugh!
I haven't done anything significant lately,well,not counting taking Carlo's diss in my stride.I reckon I'll stop here and see if I can lift my article off the newspaper's website...
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Here We Go Again
Its gotten such that I always want to come up with some catchy title for my blogs.I actually thought anatomy of a strike was brilliant,worthy of a Pulitzer even(assuming Pulitzer's were awarded on the basis of titles)..then I went to Google and there were about 500 Anatomies.Its pretty sad really.I can not lay claim to having the only anatomy,coz someone in Portland also thought that would be a cool title for her dissertation.
I went for a rally today.I wasn't like,really psyched for the thing,no lie.I just thought that after all the stories it would be really neat if i actually went and saw these things for myself.I would love to delve into the minutest of details,but that sort of thing is for my article this Sunday,so...
I went for a rally today.I wasn't like,really psyched for the thing,no lie.I just thought that after all the stories it would be really neat if i actually went and saw these things for myself.I would love to delve into the minutest of details,but that sort of thing is for my article this Sunday,so...
Beware The Man With The Pen
Long title,isn't?Well,there's a good reason behind this...I went to this grad. party over the weekend,my cousin's actually.It was neat and if I could do it all over again...I pro'lly wouldn't...I was pining for the greater part of it.Thinking lots about Vee..Oh crap!I think i just lost Carlo...Oh well,never mind,you're still here.
So after the party I went to the nightclub,because that's just the sort of thing you do when you've gone for a graduation party and all...It was pretty empty (corporate night,which doesn't make sense,why would any corporate type be in a nightclub??) so I moved around a bit,tryina find people that knew me,then I was spotted.I went said hi to a pal who introduced me to his pal...THE MAN WITH THE PEN!!
See,from the offset he looked like the kind of bear-sized person that people tend to fear.Then he asked me what I wanted to drink...There was a debate over Tusker and Castle lagers,but he gave in and got me a Tusker..then he whipped it out (I love where you pervs. are taking this...)he pulled his pen out of his shirt pocket and signed for the drinks...I should have known better than to stay here at that point,Have we not been told similar stories?me neither!
So that was it,throughout the night i kept getting hit with drinks from every which way...and then in an effort to show that we were pals and all,he would do this whole hug thing that knocked everything but the beer out of me....scary stuff this.
By the time the night had ended I was spending most of my time in hiding.I know,its some crazy stuff,Who runs away from free drinks?well,after about 4 drinks you would never be caught drinking,you would to...to the safety of your thoughts.Thoughts of she,and how it should be..well what do you know,Carlo made it this far...
So after the party I went to the nightclub,because that's just the sort of thing you do when you've gone for a graduation party and all...It was pretty empty (corporate night,which doesn't make sense,why would any corporate type be in a nightclub??) so I moved around a bit,tryina find people that knew me,then I was spotted.I went said hi to a pal who introduced me to his pal...THE MAN WITH THE PEN!!
See,from the offset he looked like the kind of bear-sized person that people tend to fear.Then he asked me what I wanted to drink...There was a debate over Tusker and Castle lagers,but he gave in and got me a Tusker..then he whipped it out (I love where you pervs. are taking this...)he pulled his pen out of his shirt pocket and signed for the drinks...I should have known better than to stay here at that point,Have we not been told similar stories?me neither!
So that was it,throughout the night i kept getting hit with drinks from every which way...and then in an effort to show that we were pals and all,he would do this whole hug thing that knocked everything but the beer out of me....scary stuff this.
By the time the night had ended I was spending most of my time in hiding.I know,its some crazy stuff,Who runs away from free drinks?well,after about 4 drinks you would never be caught drinking,you would to...to the safety of your thoughts.Thoughts of she,and how it should be..well what do you know,Carlo made it this far...
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
To Blog Or Not To Blog...
So I wake up this mornin' right?With my head in the clouds because,as you can imagine its the sort of thing you do when you are in love. The other thing you do is go all out and declare your feelings for this special person to all and sundry (sort of saying,"leave me the heck alone).Back in the day,it used to be such that you would resort to using the radio and send dedications.It was lame and tawdry but it was expected.Now the stakes are raised and the whole Declaration thing has been taken to the net.Think of it as erecting a shrine of some sort for the person you are going to spend your life with on the World Wide Web.
Its pretty nifty and is made THAT much better when both of you actually have the site thing down to a science.No,wait there's nothing to it.Blogs have come and made it THAT much easier.
So you go forth and declare your undying love...your way of telling the world (your friends actually,you have no time to go and tell the world you're in love) that this is the person responsible for your decreased levels of hanging out with thema nd you don't care what they think...In my case its true,I am madly in love with my girlfriend the expanse of sea or land and what not between us is a bitch but we are willing to make this work....But as was the question with the whole radio dedication thing one can't help but wonder...do we really have to go and force this stuff in your face...
Its pretty nifty and is made THAT much better when both of you actually have the site thing down to a science.No,wait there's nothing to it.Blogs have come and made it THAT much easier.
So you go forth and declare your undying love...your way of telling the world (your friends actually,you have no time to go and tell the world you're in love) that this is the person responsible for your decreased levels of hanging out with thema nd you don't care what they think...In my case its true,I am madly in love with my girlfriend the expanse of sea or land and what not between us is a bitch but we are willing to make this work....But as was the question with the whole radio dedication thing one can't help but wonder...do we really have to go and force this stuff in your face...
Sunday, April 03, 2005
And then there was silence
The Pope is dead...Its a sad day worldwide. Catholics have been holding vigil.The news channels were filled with profiles. My mum came over and told us...actually we met in the corridor cuz i was going over to tell her (not really the bearer of Bad News,but...) and she told me. Its pretty depressing. We all know where this is going,media frenzy! all these newspapers will come out and proclaim that he was in uganda at some point and that he said he loved the country. We all do the suck up thing pretty well,don't we. Me?I was up waiting to talk to my sweetheart...
