Sunday, January 23, 2005
Its evident the TV execs. We have so long expected to give us great shows have gone on leave. Either that or they have genuinely run out of ideas. Whatever the case, they have set off a nasty precedent; REALITY SHOWS!! The sad fact is that they just can’t work here in Uganda even if we so badly wanted them to.
Take Punk’d for instance. It’s a sort of Candid Camera© affair wherein Celebrities have all sorts of practical jokes played on them…usually testing their breaking point. This show just can’t work here because, on top of having no celebrities, the pseudo-celebrities just don’t have the sort of patience that would delay a commercial break. The average kind would yell obscenities, jump onto a table get a good view of the onlookers and yell some stuff about people’s parents. The other sort will simply force a grin and pretend that his/her life is always like this.
Then we have newlyweds…wherein we have Jessica Simpson and Nick something being followed around full time. I mean, honestly, who exactly would be interested in such mindless scrutiny of how celebrities live. We already have “as-if” (that would be one of the phrases David Tumusiime is looking out for) tabloids littering the side walks, the last thing we need is to watch another celebrity trying his hand at Pidgin English.
Of course there is the option of watching “Life in Customer Service”. This would probably be worth the watch. For one thing we get to see who the droning voice at the other end of the line belongs to, or who gives asinine answers to the effect, “Oh No! seriously?...” plus we get to kick them out of our misery! Of course on occasion we may develop a soft spot for the hardworking ladies, but either way I think I’ll float this to, I don’t know, UTV when (or if) they get privatised. And it has continuity value, the first time round we can focus on UEDCL, then in the next season we tackle mobile phone companies.
We all know that The Swan wouldn’t work. Its that show where these women that are convinced they are, well, ugly, get makeovers and then stand to win loads of money. It just can’t work because most of the women here that would be ideal for the show are under the impression that they have found the perfect self esteem enhancers; marinating in cheap perfume and undergoing self induced epidermal chromatography (bleaching).
Of course at this point a fair share of eyebrows is raised in concern. The ardent reader is wondering, “Did he actually miss Big Brother? Or Popstars…or The East African TV auditions?”… the answer, NO! I didn’t! What I was trying is to put into practice the underlying premise for “Faking It”. I was trying to escape my extremely happening life where I am not bothered by the apparent lack of good programming on the Television. I was trying to pull the wool over your eyes, but you caught me. And you know why? Because the reality is, these shows are so shallow and predictable we tend to know where they are heading way before the characters do.