Ivan Presents...

The story so far…

The power company did me in. I realize it sounds like some song now, and yeah, I’m with you…I am SO SICK of it, but that’s what happens. Called them up and they told me the situation was under control. I think that’s code for, “You are sooo f**ked!” coz that’s exactly what I was for a week. The story kept alternating for the first few days and then they just stopped trying. Their creativity waned shortly after telling me I resided in a high priority area and as such should be have my electricity back within a week. Truth be told that there is the breaking point. I mean, the wonderful Americans freaked out after they had no electricity for a couple of hours not too long ago. Conspiracy theorists figured it was some terrorist ploy…oh sure, if we make it such that the infidel can’t play his video games, surf the net and slice his bread he will fall to his knees and know that we are the shit!

Actually, while we are still talking about terror, one of the customer service attendants went in for the Shock and Awe approach that ensured that I was both;

• Shocked
• Awed

She told me she understood what I was going through and that it is very bad not to have electricity (no shit!). It is very bad not to have electricity? That’s it? An eternity spent on customer service training sessions and that’s how you quell a pissed off client? What next? Gee mister Lion, I realize the conditions are very harsh here in the jungle, in fact its very bad to be a starving king of the beasts…gee Osama, it is very bad that those infidel continue to trample all over you…Gee Oprah, its very bad Mr. Cruise jumped on your sofa…Gee customer service lady, it is VERY BAD that that’s all you can come up with…

I told her she didn’t have a clue what I was going through. That my entire livelihood depended on electricity. Her response; “but even us we are not making money coz we are not billing you…” I don’t remember her name, so in as much as I’d like to spit venom and bile I don’t have a name to go with it.

When the electricity did come back my PC was dead… in a way that only PC’s can pull off. I switch the thing on and the monitor stares at me as if to say, “Go on, do something, I haven’t got all day.” The PC on its part is humming contentedly, in a way I can only describe as being smug. I found out from a specialist that that is not a good thing. The best kind of PC is the discontented sort that, immediately after starting up, makes all these noises that kind of sound like an electrical appliance is jeering at you. They also sound like beeps…not the attractive kind that I think of whenever I look at a Pussycat Doll…these things are downright freaky, like some catastrophe is around the corner.

Met a pal the other day and he asked me whether I was done with the university. My reply; “isn’t everyone?”. For those of you that don’t quite get it (seeing as it is immensely cryptic) The university was closed thereby forcing us to go on an unplanned holiday. It’s a bitch really coz I’d not counted on this kind of freedom- it’s a little different when your class-cutting days are thrust upon you and are not of your own making.

The Lecturers are pissed off because they are not being paid their dues; the students on the other hand are upset because they, hehe…they..heh…I’m sorry, but it’s a little too much, you will probably agree when I do type it out…the students are miffed coz THEY ARE NOT BEING TAUGHT! (What did I tell you, priceless isn’t it?)

Honestly speaking, I feel for people that think they are getting a raw deal as far as payment is concerned provided they are not Members of Parliament or The Power Company or Telecom companies or…well you get what I mean.

Thing is, I don’t think anyone has seen how far this thing will play out, besides, there’s some lecturers that stress students loads and don’t deserve a pay rise reserved for those hard working upstanding individuals. One of my lecturers for instance.

In other news, I think I need an office type job, you know, the kind where I can quit after a while or crave a new job or sumthin’…So there you have it, that’s what’s been happenin’…

What’s up with you?