Ivan Presents...
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Look ma! Its a Tail With No Body
...and similarly, a flick with no plot.
Okay fine, I digress. It had a plot. Hell, the movie's title is the bloody synopsis...Its all down to me. I am naive. I actually believed there's more to the movie than just Snakes On A Plane.
I didn't even get round to watching it till its end coz I figured I got the gist of it...
Okay fine, I digress. It had a plot. Hell, the movie's title is the bloody synopsis...Its all down to me. I am naive. I actually believed there's more to the movie than just Snakes On A Plane.
I didn't even get round to watching it till its end coz I figured I got the gist of it...
**SPOILER ALERT**
There's a plane...and there are snakes on it!
**END SPOILER**
The director was on a role...
look at that its a snake descending on a weed smoking couple..On A Plane
Hey, that sleeping fat lady (not to be confused with the Singing Fat Lady) has got a snake going up her dress...on a plane...
Hey, that horny guy is peeing on a snake..on a plane...
There's a trend being followed here, it involves SNAKES...ON A bloody PLANE!!
I would have loved to see some twists in this movie. The absence of the twist (yeah,sure the snakes did twist and turn, very funny Mr. Producer man!) doesn't mean I can actually go to the box office with my mouth foaming (with insults) and ask for a refund.
It's a lost cause!
Me: I mmmwant mmmwy money...
Box Office Attendant: sir, please address me with less foam....
Me: Oh, my bad...hey, your title when abbreviated spells BOA...that's a twist...
BOA: so are you appeased?
Me: er, no...
BOA: what did you expect? The title clearly states that there are Snakes On A Plane...would you have preferred Snakes On A Train? Or Snakes On A Bun?
Me: Your sarcasm is almost intriguing. You've won me over!
BOA: I'm glad, so are you going back to watch the movie?
Me: "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherf***ing snakes on this motherf***ing plane!
Truth be told I'd have settled for something, anything...like these deleted scenes;
*Camera pans over some guy's head...he is hunched over a snake...he looks up with a sort of scowl..he analyses the snake...
Samuel L "Badass" Jackson:
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
As yet Unknown Dude: This snake..its like the one on my tattoo...if we dissect it through here, he will be able to testify...as per who I am...call me Scowlfilled..man, did I choose the wrong plane to skip the country after my PRISON BREAK. *UGH* It bit me... Its starting to look like there are Snakes On This Plane...
( I had to add that giveaway. the last time I posted some obscure reference only Dante got it)
*Out of nowhere..." Stop that speech...stop it now!" I'm Jack Boa, well not really, but the guy writing this is bent on throwing in some awful puns so bear with me...
Samuel L: How long does this go on...
Jack Boa: In my experience, it never quite goes beyond 24 hours
SamueL L: THAT'S TOO LONG! PEOPLE ARE DYING! Is there a Doctor in the House...
Gregory House: Yes, but I'm too busy studying Grey's Anatomy to be drawn into ER...
There's a loud bang and the plane splits, no, cracks...and then is ripped open...No sign of Superman, he is probably tryin on some new tights...
Some passengers crash on an Island where they are going to be lost but, in good time we discover that they are some of the 4400!
And we know what that means...loads of powers, no snakes in sight and see who makes it to see if the bloody movie has a Last Stand.
2 Comments:
pass...
wen i'd think 'he couldn't possibly squeeze in another pun now!!' u'd prove me wrong...
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