Ivan Presents...

I’m, not hating,far from it.I respect the whole concept of photography.Given the right setting I’d pose with Angelina Jolie if Bradd let me.But that’s it.I would not go all out on the whole thing the way many people do.It never ceases to amuse me(yes,I am actually a very to amuse person...which is why Breakfast Shows hold some sort of appeal) the lengths people go through for pictures.
I asked someone what they hoped to achieve from this,whether the answers to life’s greatest mysteries would be revealed within the flash of bright lights or whether she had actually chanced upon the secret to youth.I desperately wanted some sort of “deep” reason that would leave me in a state of awe or at the very least pondering the intricacies of film and the like. She summed it up in just the one word-JUST!
Suffice to say,my afternoon was killed and I consoled myself with some asinine game whose objective had me trying to guess what the next Ebonies play would be called.I didn’t see Obnoxious Abomination coming.It just didn’t make as much sense as the other titles. For the record,you can really find yourself in an Inextricable Dilemma wherein the outcome will without a doubt be an Excruciating Conundrum.The perfect example of such a situation would be sitting through any of their TV series…and I use the word “Series” in the broadest sense of the word.
Don’t Worry,Be Happy
Someone claims that getting your picture taken is some sort of anti-depressant.Apparently if you are feeling low and walk into a studio you will emerge shortly afterwards in such high spirits.Two things clash with this theory.I have never seen anyone smiling in those mugshots the police in “outside countries” take in the movies.Secondly alcohol is reputed to lift spirits faster than photos,seeing as there is no time lag as they “develop” alcohol.
Amnesia
There is simply no other way of putting this.People supposedly take pictures so that they can remember how they looked at some point in their lives.This prompts the question,“Then what?”.How exactly is this going to impact your life or the great hereafter?
Just
You can not “just” take pictures.There has to be some reason,heck throw in some sort of vanity or narcissistic spiel.“I figured I looked incredibly good that day and seeing as I described myself in that chatroom where people go to meet their future spouses as looking drop dead gorgeous,this was ideal…now obba where do I get blue eyes…”
There are a few questions that are exceptions to the “just” excuse.You can answer some questions with the one word.Questions such as,“Why do you say all those nasty things about Jennifer Lopez?”
The issue here is not so much the fact that pictures are taken.People need to make a living,Winnie Munyenga needs stuff to talk about..the issue is the fact that people will actually go to the ATM,withdraw money walk past all these takeaways and airtime joints and get a picture taken…Just for Just!!