Ivan Presents...

Monday, April 10, 2006

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

The story so far…

Rwandese Guy (definitely a Diplomat) is Caught in the Act with a woman that may or may not be Ugandan but is definitely not his wife and is asked by the Powers that be (that are, without a doubt, Ugandan) to leave the country. On their part, the second lot of Powers that be (whom we are well aware happen to be Rwandese) demand an apology for embarrassing their, er, reprsesentative.

Names have been left out of this piece not because I am trying to protect anyone’s identity, but because I can’t be bothered to look them up and confirm their spellings.

I’m a little curious, what’s the big deal? It can’t be such tedious process to formulate an apology. In fact, the ease with which an apology can be fashioned implies that just about everyone involved in this thing should be able to apologize.

I reckon the guy that was being cheated on should be able to look into the cameras and tell the Ugandan people that he is sorry (there is a back story here). He can not claim he is way too patriotic for that (you really need to check out that back story!).
I think his apology should be along these lines;

“I am sorry I walked in on them. It was wrong. I should have had the courtesy to knock first. What I did was just rude. I certainly hope the trauma I may have induced by walking in is not long term and that we can come out of this experience changed and refreshed. To the people of Ugandan I also offer an apology. You should not have to keep reading about me and my wife…and that guy. I am well aware that the story has relegated other bits of interesting reading such as Besigye’s opinion of the Judges and their kin, Load shedding and Chaps Holidaying On Government Money (I really can’t take credit for that one, its all over the web). I am doing everything I can to push this thing away. Once again, I’m sorry.”

Quite frankly, I realize that the impression you get out of that is that The Rwandese Diplomat (sounds a little like the title of some West African- East African Collaborated flick, doesn’t it?) gets away scot-free…so let’s give him a chance to apologize…

“Uganda…*sigh* May God Uphold Thee! Man, this stuff wasn’t supposed to play out like that. You guys have got to believe me. I mean, you have seen the quality of our babes. They rock! I think it may be something I ate. This is not to say that Ugandan chics are not all that. They are. It’s just that this particular lady may or may not be Ugandan and the whole mystery adds to the appeal. You know the feeling. It’s sort of like when you ride a boda boda (read motorbike). You really don’t want anyone to know you were there, but the curiosity gets the better of you and you throw caution to the wind. To the women of Uganda…I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you before all this happened and now, with the way Uganda seems to have discovered that it too can deport people who may or may not be pursuing a variation of Kyeyo, I may never get round to it. Gifted By Nature though you may be, this lady was a Gift of Nature…”

In all fairness, I suppose we ought to give the lady a chance to look us in the collective face and say sorry…


I don’t know about you, but that’s good enough for me.

And in a surprise twist, we have an apology from a party that has been messing us up over and over with no regard to our feelings…until now. Presenting, the Power Company’s Apology.

“Oh man, you guys. We realize our timing was off this time round. Of all the times to let the electricity stay on, wow. Massive blunder back there! And yet, in our defense, we had to throw some light on the situation…Alright, we didn’t have to. We really are sorry. We went ahead to load shed Muyenga (to be honest only three houses in that area were affected by the “blackout”) and leave electricity on in that room. In fact, according to our records the whole country was in fact living in darkness at the time…oh ****, that’s not right… Our apology, that’s not on the record. That was actually part of a Presidential Candidate’s manifesto. Yet again, we would like to ask that you accept our apology. We are committed to improving the way we operate which means, the next time there’s a nationwide blackout, everybody will suffer the wrath…will, er, share the fun that is DARKNESS.”

Suffice to say, it’s very likely these apologies will never make it to the masses because, like I said earlier, Sorry seems to be the hardest word…
Brought forth by The 0ne at 4/10/2006 03:37:00 PM


Interesting post. Knowing the fellow and the disheartening culture of perversity in both countries, I would not put much stock in this "I was set up" rhetoric fronted by the secondary party. Sorry seems to be harder than ever to say.

5:46 PM  

man, am i glad to read from you again. and thats true, we'll probably first see snow caps on the mountains in hell before them dudes say sorry...and mean it. but why should we care?

8:43 PM  

lovely amphibian, i'm not holding my breath that he is going to change his ways and update more regulary.

2:45 PM  

if this is your way of saying sorry for ditching us the no, it's not accepted! simple reason, like mataachi said, you're not going to change your ways so what's the point. we'll just live with what we've got and move on.

7:10 PM  

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